Birth-day Part 2

Whoops-forgot to add the moment of truth--Dami's birth!! ------- 3.51pm Julie asks everyone to leave so we can have five minutes to…readjust? Reassess? Rejoice? We know a C-section is the right call, and we have been impressed by all the docs so far. We’re part bewildered, part excited at all the swift changes in expectations. All the spoken and unspoken visions of giving birth emerge and recede in those five minutes—and curiously, none of them included a c-section. Hah! 3.55pm Let’s go! They wheel Julie out into the operating room, and I stay behind until they have her prepped. I change into scrubs and a mask, and sit to meditate until they call for me. 4.08pm The nurse walks me to the op, and the anesthesiologist allows me to bring my camera (unexpected surprise). Julie’s head and hands are disembodied by the blue screen at her chest. I see the docs’ headlamps and masks and blurs of movement behind the screen. 4.10pm I start stroking Julie’s forehead as the doc tells her that she will feel as if someone is sitting on her chest, but that’s it. I ask when they’ll deliver Dami. “Oh, in about 5 minutes,” she replies calmly. Wow! Serious? That soon? We only made the decision 15 minutes ago! 4.15pm Doc: “Do you want to look”? Ev: “Oh yeah” I thought she’d never ask. Doc: “So…are you a tough guy or a geek?” Julie: “With this stuff? Definitely geek” She knows I’m dying to get on the other side of screen. Doc: “Good—the tough guys always pass out.” 4.16pm I stand up to see Dami’s pasty purple face and shoulders flopping like a newly passed-out college student. The docs slide her body on the table and all this action commences—so many hands can fit on such a tiny body? I’m snapping away with the camera and giving Julie the play-by-play. Still waiting for a sound. Docs are clearing her airways. A startle? Then a bleat. A cough. Then a yelp. She’s here. 4.18pm They weigh her, wiping some of her covering, clearing her nose and mouth with the blue rubber nozzle. She starting to get loud now—sweet! Julie still hasn’t seen her, but she can turns her head to hear her—mom’s rooting instinct, no? Finally, they hold her up so Julie can see. Introducing….Damiana! 6.03 lbs, 19 inches. She’s got an 8-head and yoga toes, and she looks great. But what’s up with all that hair?! 4.24pm Luckybabydaddy (LBD) gets to hold Damiana first, while the docs stitch Julie up. She’s pale rose-lavender, swaddled like a burrito. The amazing thing is how calm she is. Not belting out, just chilling. The doc says, “Watch this,” and shields Dami’s eyes from the op lights. On cue, Dami starts blinking and then starts looking around. When I start describing this to Julie, Damiana turns her head, looks right at me, blinks, and keeps looking. Staring but not staring—more gentle. When I meet someone’s eyes, the flow of communication can be like two open hydrants. But meeting Dami’s eyes for the first time was a pond’s still surface. 4.45pm We’re back in the labor room and Julie gets to hold Dami for the first time. One of Julie’s best qualities is that she lets her excitement show. She can’t clap her hands because of the IV’s, but my wife is greedy greedy for her child! Damiana is greedy back, and starts feeding like a champ. The doc tells us that Damiana had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, which is why her heart rate dropped every time Julie had a significant contraction. Grácias á Dios, we came to the hospital early, and the Dr. Lightfoot didn’t hesitate to do a C-section. Its all about a healthy baby. 5.16pm Damiana’s an hour old, still alert. I sing to her and she calms down, opens her eyes and sticks her tongue out. Julie and I reflect on how fast everything happened. We expected to have 2 more weeks because Julie was not dilated and her uterus measured small just 4 days ago. This morning, I thought I’d put up shelves and start the garden. We were prepared for the uncertainty of labor and delivery, not the efficiency of a c-section. All since 7am. 7pm My mother and father happened to be in Baltimore to visit my sister Deb and her family, so they all came that evening to see the hours-old child. Mike, Julie’s brother and Kylie, his wife, came also. Total rock stars—lots of love and plates of food. Dami is held by the AfroKoreaPolska Benetton family. All these loves in one room. Yumm.